For most of my life, I put my big decisions up for a vote. I wouldn't have described it that way at the time. It felt like being thoughtful — talking things through, getting input, being open. But if I'm honest about what was actually happening, I was taking a decisions I'd half-made to the people around me — my family, people at work — presenting them as questions, and quietly hoping for a blessing. And then feeling genuinely deflated when the answer came back as "are you su